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this is my first time commenting, but have been "stalking" your blog for a while now, lol. i was called to comment on this post b/c i too have the same problem, in the same subject with my 9 year old boy. many tears, many threats, many punishments for us both. i wish i had some piece of wisdom to give, but alas i have nothing. we did decided to take him out of public school and he now goes to a charter school. he goes to school part time and is homeschooled part time. crazy i know, considering the problems with homework, however it has worked out great. i think it actually has more to do with his teacher this year. he loves her and says she actually teaches him rather just to hand him work and say do it. hang in there. there are more of us struggling out there then i think like to admit it. you are a true inspiration!


i could write about this very subject. i have serious homework blues - except i think i am the one in tears and ready to throw a tantrum. it is now after 11pm and i will be up past midnight helping my oldest (she is a sophomore) with her homework. i spend at least 2-3 hours on homework with my kids. and i have pulled all-nighters for various projects and study sessions. if you have any tricks on how to be more patient or more efficient, please share. i am at a loss. i just pray and hope things get better and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


I would love to hear any ideas you come up with. We are struggling this year also. 4th grade math. Ugh.


It does get better. My boys are now 13 + 15 and my involvement is this: Didya do your homework? It really does get easier.


Hi, this is also my first time commenting, but I admit, I am a blog stalker of yours as well. I was just telling my husband last night how much I dislike homework. It seems it's always a struggle, and so much of our time together is spent doing it. Which invilves fighting, tears, and threats. Any suggestions any of you may have would be so much appreciated. I'm at a loss.

Kim Ket.

Yep! I can relate. My sweet, attention deprived third-grader does not get along well with math. He has some special needs that make anything abstract so difficult. He is a very litteral little guy! One thing we've tried is using concrete blocks to learn place value, etc...
But I must say, my 8th grader has had a tizzy with HW this year too. He has marching band practice 3 of the 4 HW days per week until 6 PM, and many nights he's pretty late going to bed. Teachers don't seem to realize how much they pile on these kids (and I can say it...I'm a former teacher)! Good luck with the math. Hope it gets better for you and her!

scott stewart

Hey, this is my fifth time commenting on your blog. Just have Ellie do what the other kids do...look up the problem on the internet and copy the answer.

tara pollard pakosta

it's rough when they don't get something!
I would suggest maybe letting someone else show her, like
her dad, a neighbor, friend etc.
I hope you can find something that works for her!!!
it's hard, but it will get better!!!
just have her keep doing extra problems until the concept sinks in! hugs! I have been there!

Jen T

Been there, done that. It is so super frusturating. One thing to remember, don't work harder than your child. She needs to own it. If it gets too frusturating, then just walk away. Say, "I will help when you are happy, but right now isn't working, so I will help you later." Love and logic approach. Hang in there!


jen - check out pioneer woman's web-site - the homeschool section has a product in there that is a math manipulative game ... it's called the zillio mini mountain and it was featured on August 16th by her guest blogger Oh My Stinkin Heck.... She's a home schooling mom who has tried many "math games" with no success, but who has great things to say about this one. It is good for ages 4-94. We are getting it for the boys for Christmas. And by the way, even the best moms and teachers get overwhelmed with knowing how to help their kids love learning... today's post in PW homeschooling is a fine example. One thing is for sure when it comes to homework mom frustration - YOU ARE NOT ALONE GIRLFRIEND!!! We could talk all day about The Ben! Hang in there. love you.


So here's the thing that made doing homework easier for ( I mean with!) my very stubborn fifth grader- I explained to him that this particular thing that is making him so frustrated and upset will so not matter when he is thirty years old! As long as he gives it his best shot and tries to do the work is what really matters to me. I have flat out refused to have him complete homework in the past when we were both in tears and frustrated by it. At that time he was in the third grade and I was very much against spending the little bit of family time we have in the evening fussing over homework that made us all unhappy. In the big scheme of things, it's a pretty small drop in the bucket of life! Don't let it unnerve you! Love your blog!


This is all so familiar . . . maybe its the 2nd grade?

Julie S

I, too, spent hours doing homework, frustrated and in tears. We decided to have her tested and sure enough she has a learning disability and ADD (inattentive type). We didn't start getting help until the 4th grade and we now have a more confident and independent child. Not everyday is easy now that she is in 7th grade but she has more confidence in her abilities and has learned how to work through to get to a solution not to mention that she no longer calls herself stupid!I wish the teachers would have spoken up sooner. They say that learning issues are harder to detect in girls.

Account Deleted

I feel your homework pain! After hours of frustration, tears, threats, and sometimes just walking away, I spend the hours after they go to bed feeling terrible for losing my cool..again. For raising my voice instead of being positive and patient...again. Ugh!

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